Falling out of love is not the end of the world, no matter how much it feels like it at the time. Going through a break up can be a very confusing, painful and traumatic experience.
But there is hope.
In the last chapter we covered a number of points in dealing with grief and its processes.
To start a fresh life after a break up, and to have a positive outlook on the future, everything discussed in the previous chapter really needs to be diligently worked on. If necessary, re-read the last section on a regular basis to remind yourself of some of the things you can do to get those feelings under control.
Learn From Mistakes
Once your feelings are more manageable and you are getting past the grieving stage, it is now a good time to ponder what went wrong in the relationship, and what you yourself could do better next time.
This isn’t suggesting to beat yourself up over anything. It’s about learning from past mistakes so they won’t be repeated in the future.
No matter how good you are, or think you are, none of us is infallible. We all make mistakes and it is important to pinpoint those errors so that they can be eradicated or avoided.
Make a list of what you believe were problems or issues in your last relationship. Decide if there are any areas that you may need to adjust, and then make a conscious effort to work positively on those areas.
Don’t Look Back
You have fought your way through the grieving process and emerged back into the light on the other side. Your emotions are more under control. You feel half human again. You’ve analyzed what went wrong and are working on improving anything that you have some control over in your own life.
It’s important now not to look back. You’ve been through the hardest part. You are getting over your ex and that relationship is gradually starting to fade from view.
Don’t let your thoughts return to dwell on anything negative (or even positive in some cases) from that relationship. It’s over. It’s done. It will serve no useful or beneficial purpose to rehash it from this point forward.
Now is the time to be looking forward.
You are just beginning the journey on a new life. You are back in control, the creator of your own destiny. The world is out there waiting for you.
So is new love, if you want it.
But before you take that next step, it is important to prepare yourself first so that you can tackle new opportunities with an air of fresh confidence.
The above article is an excerpt from the author’s book “When It’s Over: How To Mend That Broken Heart” by Darren G. Burton.